Friday, June 6, 2014

Do you ever wonder . . . ?

 Do you ever find yourself wondering, on a grey day without much sparkle,
 amidst the inward-moving energies of winter,
 about a particular person
 whose anniversary it is?
And you wonder, 'how old would they be now, had they lived?'
 I've stopped doing that with my parents, because it gets a bit ridiculous now that my calculations are going into the hundreds.
But with a little one, it's different. 
My first granddaughter. She died at 6 weeks old. She would have been 21 today. 

13 comments:

Anne Else said...

Oh Juliet, I didn't know that. But of course I know exactly what you mean, and my heart gets out to you.

Penny O'Neill said...

Such a sadness lies heavy in one's heart, Juliet. That marking of years and what Heather's life could have been, especially here at her 21st birthday. You've made such a lovely tribute here for her, honoring her short breath of life here on earth. My thoughts float your way, dear heart.

Nadezda said...

Sorry about you first granddaughter, Julian. When I've seen your picture of yellow leaves I remembered that I like walking along the alleys immersing my feet in leaves.

Juliet Batten said...

* Anne, thank you. It was a hard time, after so much eager anticipation. She was a very sweet presence. You know this territory so well - and more.

* Penny, what a comforting phrase: 'her short breath of life here on earth'. Thank you for your heart connection, I do appreciate it.

* Nadezda, the leaves are lying thickly on the ground, all piled up as we have had very little rain these past weeks.

Thank you for visiting Anne, Penny & Nadezda.

Hotly Spiced said...

That's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about Heather. What a tragedy and yes, when those we love pass away, we do find ourselves wondering what their lives would be like if they were still with us. So, so sad xx

Juliet Batten said...

Charlie, the sadness has eased after so many years, but anniversaries come as a reminder, especially this one. Thank you.

Anne Ruffell said...

I was moved by your remembrance of Heather on her birthday, always I think the best time to turn one's thoughts to loved ones who are no longer with us. Other anniversaries are too painful to remember but birthdays are linked to happiness and celebration. I too am in a quiet place as this morning we received news that one of Antonia's lovely Australian friends has just died whilst on holiday in Thailand. We have lovely memories of him - he once rescued me from the pain of a bee sting! Another young life cut too short.

silkannthreades said...

I love the cradle-hand shape of the big tree which is repeated in the shape of the foliage against the sea in the next photo. With the little ones it is hard. My extended family celebrated, this week, what would have been the 21st of a young family member who died tragically a few years ago. Blessings to you and your little one, still deeply loved by her family.

Juliet Batten said...

* Anne, you are right; birthdays are usually happier times for remembrance. How sad about that young man dying in Thailand.

* Gallivanta, how observant of you to pick up the cradle-hand shape of the tree and the foliage. I was aware of it too. We need cradling when we feel these losses. So you have been marking another would-be 21st. What a tragic loss for your family.

Thank you Anne and Gallivanta for your heart-felt comments. Much appreciated.

Ruth P said...

Oh Juliet. Life can take us the full gamut of experience can't it? The joy and beauty of some things held in tension with/against the sorrow and enormity of others.

Your marker in the sand today is a very beautiful acknowledgment in wider sands of time... and love.

Thinking of you at this 21st point.
And wishing you peace and space to contemplate all that it means for you and those you love.

Juliet Batten said...

Ruth, thank you for your full-hearted response.

Vicki Lane said...

A lovely post. I like to imagine that in some alternate reality, you and Heather are walking down a country road, sharing confidences and all manner of loving joys.

Juliet Batten said...

Vicki, that's such a nice thought. My imagination sometimes takes me there too. Thank you.